Posted: April 20th, 2009 | Author: Bateman | Filed under: Weekly Summary | No Comments »
This is a summary of my week ending 4/18/2009. I plan on doing this weekly.
Monday
Monday sucked. I woke up late (6:00am instead of 5:00am) which made me show up for work 30 minutes late, which meant I had to stay 30 minutes late. The reason I got there relatively on time is because I half-assed breakfast, which threw me off even more.
With my job I can come and go as I please, but one of my goals for this year is to show up at 7:00am and leave at 3:30pm (8 hours plus a 30 minute lunch) just so I have more time to do stuff during the day. Showing up early also means I miss more traffic both on the way to and from work which can be a huge time saver since my commute is about an hour (uggh).
For lunch I ate my usual turkey sandwich with a bag of Baked Lays and a water. I didn’t go to the gym, and I didn’t even make note of the day on here, which I try to do daily.
Tuesday
Tuesday went slightly better than Monday. Monday night to Tuesday morning I got only 5 hours of sleep because I had to bring a friend to the airport early. The funny thing is that I felt great (for the most part) all day. Since I had to be up earl, I got to work on time, which meant I got to leave on time.
Turkey sandwich, Baked Lays, and water for lunch.
At home, I laid on my bed and watched Hell’s Kitchen (one of the few shows I watch regularly on Hulu). For dinner I went to Subway and got a foot long turkey sub on honey oat with double meat, double cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, green peppers, and jalapeños. Went to sleep at 10:00pm and did not go to the gym.
Wednesday
Another bad day. I woke up late again, showed up to work 30 minutes late, and had to leave 30 minutes late. Same lunch as Monday and Tuesday.
After work I went to the mall to try to buy some clothes. I am in the process of throwing all of my clothes away (or giving them away) and replacing them with new ones that fit perfectly. Buying clothes is a real pain for me for a couple of reasons. Since I was on the crew team my legs are a bit bigger than they should be for my frame, so usually they do not fit in pants with a 33 waist. Because of this I am forced to buy pants with a bigger waist and I become self-conscious about my pants looking goofy, because they do. They always feel like they are about to fall down.
Luckily at the mall I found that J. Crew pants (jeans specifically) fit me wonderfully. Unfortunately, in the entire store they only had one pair of my size, so I purchased them even though they were marked $96. I justified the price because I keep my clothes for a long time and these jeans truly fit me very nicely. As luck would have it, they rang in at $36. Score. I also bought a green shirt at Banana Republic that I will most likely return.
The most memorable part of this trip was at Nordstrom. I tried on a $2,700 Armani suit just for the hell of it. When I put that suit on I felt like a million bucks, and I have decided that I will eventually buy it. I even took a picture of myself in it with my cell phone.
The unfortunate part of the trip to mall was, again, lack of confidence. I did not look a single person in the eye, and occasionally even went as far as walking on the opposite side of the mall so as to avoid people. I think I felt poorly because of the crummy jeans I was wearing that did not fit right. When I went in to Abercrombie & Fitch,which is where I usually have no luck and buy stuff anyways, I tried on some clothes, and at the same time changed into my newly purchase jeans form J. Crew. I instantly felt better and even noticed myself standing up straighter. I still didn’t make eye contact with anyone, but I felt more comfortable walking around. The clothes really do make the man. I don’t care what anyone says.
After this I drove home and went grocery shopping. I made a burrito for dinner that consisted of chicken, white rice, beans, lettuce, tomatoes, and a spinach wrap. Still no gym, and I went to bed at 11:00pm because I surfed the ‘net even though I knew I should not.
Thursday
I woke up on time, but rolled over until 5:30am. For breakfast I made a 2 egg omelette with turkey, green peppers, mushrooms, onion, cooked with cooking spray. I washed it down with a small glass of OJ.
I actually got into work on time, which meant I got to leave on time. During the day, though, I almost bought an iPhone on an impluse. My cell phone has been broken for quite some time; I can text and make calls as long as it’s on speaker phone, but I can’t ave a private conversation because I can’t hear what the other person is saying. My contract is up in July, and I know how to get out of it without the charge – Verizon just needs to change a fee. Any fee. If they don’t change anything on my next bill (which should come out on the 23rd of this month), I am going to break my contract because I can’t live without a phone anymore.
When I got home, I erged for 30 minutes and almost got through the entire thing without stopping. This is pathetic since I used to be on the rowing team and was in tip top shape as little as 6 months ago. I am going to get back in shape. More on that later. See below for the awesome Depeche Mode mix I rowed to.
Next I showered, ate an apple and a banana, watched the end of Full Metal Jacket, and drank a glass of fat free milk. For dinner I cooked another burrito (chicken, lettuce, tomatoes, white rice, beans (frijoles colorados), spinach wrap) and cleaned up the mess from cooking immediately after.
While I made note of all of this today, I chewed on my finger nails, which I need to stop doing. Gnarled finger nails are not attractive. Today I was pissed and I’m not sure why. I have plans to go to out Saturday night and I am looking forward to it, but I wish I had some decent clothes.
Friday
I don’t remember much that happened on Friday. I didn’t write anything down, but I do know that I went to the other mall. The stuff I said that happened on Tuesday I am pretty sure happened on Friday because the first time I went to the mall I bought nothing. I really need to write stuff down on a daily basis.
I went out to eat with some friends and then went to see Crank 2, which was alright as long as you can accept the fact that they intended it to be completely ridiculous and campy.
Saturday
I woke up around 11:00am. Ate something for breakfast, again I don’t remember. I went to the beach, laid out, went into the freezing water, then went home. I went to the outlets in search of a jacket, tie, and new shoes to wear out later this evening. I ended up buying a ton of clothes at the J. Crew outlet store (around $150). My prayers were answered. Another pair of jeans that fit perfectly, four shirts, and a tie that has little skulls and crossbones on it. I expect this tie to get me some attention this evening because it’s both bizarre and pretty cool at the same time. I went to the Banana Republic outlet too and ended up getting a jacket ($130 something) that fit very well. It turns out that I am a 42S (42 short) because I have a short torso and long legs. On the way home I went to our local “mall” (if it even qualifies) and got a pair of grey plaid shoes ($55). I like them quite a bit and will probably wear them work. I also half expect these to get some attention.
Later that night I pre-gamed at the hotel with my friends. Two glasses of Jack and I felt ready to take on the world. We went to one club and didn’t talk to anyone really. I talked to this one dude who was there from a radio station, and someone he was with noticed my tie. I requested “Head Over Heels” by Tears for Fears because I’m kind of on an 80s bender right now. They never played it.
After about an hour and a half, one of my friends and I split off from the group because we decided it was to big to talk to girls without intimidating them. We ended up talking to two (that I had approached successfully) for the rest of the night. I don’t want to put a whole lot of details about the rest of the night because most of it involved making out with said girls. Most would consider this a huge success, but I was hoping to meet a handful of girls to get more experience talking to groups and seeing what works and what doesn’t. Plus, my early success didn’t give my friend a chance to try it himself. A phone number is a phone number and I guess that makes the night a success.
Week Highlights and Random Thoughts
My back hurt for most of the week. This is due to poor posture, especially at work. When I work I tend to slouch and lean to the left. To try to remedy this, I have begun sleeping diagonally across my mattress at night so I can lay down without my feet hanging off a bit. It seems to help me fall asleep faster, and I feel very comfortable when I wake up.
On Thursday I had a soda with lunch. I was immediately jittery and restless afterwards. This needs to not happen anymore.
My right shoulder pops a lot. I need to start going back to the gym to tighten everything back up. Yoga couldn’t hurt either.
Erg Mix
All tracks are by Depeche Mode. Album is in parenthesis
- Enjoy the Silence (Singles 86>98)
- World in My Eyes (Singles 86>98)
- Walking in My Shoes (Singles 86>98)
- It’s No Good (Singles 86>98)
- Lillian (Playing the Angel)
- In Your Room – The Jeep Rock Mix (Remixes 81-04)
Posted: April 16th, 2009 | Author: Bateman | Filed under: Uncategorized | No Comments »
This is it. I’m finally going to do it; take the ultimate leap. I’m going to kill myself. Figuratively. Then rebuild myself from the ground up.
Background
I am twenty three years old. I have graduated college and I live in what most call the “real world.” I have a stable nine to five that provides ample benefits and pays more than most American households earn annually. I have a handful of friends, I drive a Porsche, and I am a well adjusted individual (for the most part).
The Problem
The problem is that I want more and that is why I am doing this. I was once told by one of my professors that if you want to change something in your life, then you need to change your entire lifestyle. He continued to say that you will always fail at achieving your new goal unless you are doing it for love – the love of a woman, a relative, the goal itself, or the love for whatever it may be as long as it exists. I whole heartedly believe him and that’s why I know I cannot fail – I love myself too much to go down without a fight (no homo).
But I can’t do this alone. I have known myself for twenty three years and I recognize my weaknesses.
- I never finish what I start
- I pretend like I know more than I actually do
- I am a good liar because I convince myself the lies are true.
- I am apathetic towards just about everything
- I have an addictive personality
- I have low self esteem
…and the list goes on.
The Purpose
Like I said before, I cannot do this alone. This is where you come in. I need you and I think you might need me just as much. I am a firm believer that if you have enough people with the same outlook on something you can achieve it, no questions asked. I want to be the guy everyone looks up to because he seems to have it all and is the real deal. You know the guy, and so do I.
<3 Bateman
What a shitty first draft.
Originally written two weeks (and some change) prior to this evening, the “post” above, if you can call it that, was actually fairly therapeutic. While I was clearly feeling down at the time of their creation, those sentences helped me pull myself out of a bad spot, and into, as you can see, what could be described as a fairly optimistic mood. All of the things written, and eventually crossed off, are true, but my intentions were not 100 percent accurate.
As I see it, life is nothing more than a game. What you perceive is what is real, and for all I know, EVERYTHING that happens in this world could very well have been created, destroyed, or perceived as however my mind wants. It might sound dumb, but think about it for a second. If nothing else, I believe that this mindset (while slightly twisted) will be able to provide me with all of the positivity, reassurance, and confidence that I currently lack. This is my world, and you and everything else inside it is here because of me. A bit of narcissism goes a long way for some of us, but too much usually proves to be fatal.
I don’t know what this blog is about, and I’m not sure what it will turn into (if anything). I cannot guarantee regular posts, although I do have a number of ideas for topics to write about that I’ve wanted to write about for a long time. My writing will not be perfect, nor do I think it should be (at least for a while) – feel free to leave critiques and grammar/spelling errors in the comments. And comment on stuff. I need a reason to get out of bed, and lately I don’t seem to have one.